when your staycation doesn’t go as planned

Flies. Smelly carpet. Working late. Unexpected change of plans.

All valid excuses for why we were about to cave Friday night and just tackle the mounting pile of things that needed to be done rather than try this whole staycation thing.

If I believed in reincarnation, I would swear that was happening last week as, out of nowhere, flies were in my kitchen all day long for way too many days in a row.  I’d kill five, and within five minutes, five were there to take their place.  I searched everywhere to see where they were coming from.  I killed as many as I could.  I cleaned every surface of my kitchen (multiple times!).  But no matter what I did, there were flies in my kitchen.

And as for the smelly carpet, it was half torn up in my living room and the furniture was rearranged because apparently our cats decided they no longer like using the litter box.  And as such, they have now been banished outside for an indefinite amount of time.  However, I tried cleaning the carpets a couple weeks ago  and it just seemed to make the problem worse.  So, yes, my living room not only smelled atrocious, but looked worse.

I could go on telling you the woes that befell us last Friday afternoon as we were preparing to begin our staycation… but suffice it to say that we were not without opposition.  Both of us were worn out from the week and the happenings of life that we just couldn’t get a break from. Not to mention a rather important life decision looming over our heads.

We kind of felt like it wasn’t even worth it to go forward with our original plans.  But the words of my previous post rang in my head…”Your marriage is a priority.”  So we picked up the pieces, planned a day away from the house, and hoped for the best.

Here’s where the story should say, “and it was the best day ever because we made the right decision for our marriage.”  But it’s not going to read that way.  We don’t live in a fairy tale world.  All of us face challenges, and life won’t reward us with perfect just because we made a good choice.

By the end of our day together on Saturday, I felt uber frustrated to say the least.  Our brunch was not all that great, the movie we went to see was definitely one my husband enjoyed, and at dinner we had the worst waiter in the history of waiters. I’m not kidding. Mike even found a sticker in his quesadilla.  And it took us 45 minutes to get out of the restaurant once we got the bill.

What was going on?  Why didn’t I feel closer to my husband? Why, after making the right decision to prioritize our marriage, did it not seem like we were better for it?

I struggled with a battle in my mind, and then I began to talk it over with Mike.

We realized that it had been at least a month since we had gone on a date.  Life had been crazy – crazy with good things, but crazy nonetheless. And that affected things.

Also, we chose activities that were not necessarily best for our personality types.  Both of us are introverts.  (I know, I know – some of you are shaking your heads right now in disbelief.)  And we thrive off of having time away from everything to recharge.  Here we had been busy around people for the past month, and we chose to go be around a bunch of people the day we really just needed to get away in quiet.

So what’s the takeaway from all of this?

1.  Expect opposition.

After all, you’ve chosen to invest in marriage which is a picture of Christ and the church.

Life is not perfect, and chances are your staycation won’t be either. But, it’s about how you choose to roll with the punches.  Will you give up because it’s not what you wanted or expected?  Or, will you prayerfully ask God to show you what He has for you through it?

2.  Choose activities that are best for your personality types.

If you haven’t done a personality test yet, set aside some time for you and your hubs to take them.  You can do them for free here.  It might sound a little “out there” to do this, but a lot can be explained and understood when you realize what your partner thrives on.

Search Pinterest for activities or date ideas based on your personality types or off of interests you BOTH enjoy.  This is key.  Yes, during your staycation you’ll want to plan some “you time.” But for the things you will be doing together, make sure that they are like interests.  Talk it over with your guy beforehand.

3.  If it’s been a while since both of you have gone on a date or really had a chance to enjoy some time together, give it some time before you expect it to feel like that ideal getaway.

I’d be willing to bet that there are somethings that have come up on each of your hearts that you haven’t gotten a chance to talk through yet.  You’re both trying to let go of all that’s been weighing on your mind for who knows how long.  It could be finances, work, or for someone like me, something as insignificant as smelly carpet and crazy flies could be driving you crazy!

4.  If things go wrong, don’t accuse your guy.

That means mentally or verbally.  Get on the same team and tackle the issues together.  That’s what this is all about anyway – the two of you reconnecting.

5.  End on a good note.

No matter how crazy it gets, be sure that however you wrap up your staycation, you end on a good note. What is something that you ALWAYS enjoy doing together? Go do it.

For us, our staycation wrapped up watching the sunset over the water at a nearby park.  In the quietness of that time, it was like the cares of the world washed away and we were on the same page, refreshed to take on whatever lie before us.

Moral of the story?  Know why you are staycationing, and don’t give up on that purpose because there are bumps in the road.  Be committed to your spouse and recharging your relationship. No matter what.

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One thought on “when your staycation doesn’t go as planned

  1. Zaya and I had been doing really good at Date Night for a while there and then babysitters stopped being available because Isaiah got on 2nd shift and then the routine was gone. He is back on 1st shift but it’s summer time and now everyone is busy. And Fridays have been crazy busy for us too. We really do need to get back into it because it helps with life’s tensions so much! Please pray with me that we will be able to get back into having Date Nights because I need them so much. It’s not terrible of me to need time alone with just my husband, it’s who I am and I need time with Isaiah without the boys so that I care for him better because caring for them all at the same time isn’t easy on me. 8pm-9pm is supposed to be Isaiah and my time together every day and most days that works out, but sometimes it doesn’t.

    Sorry your staycation didn’t work out the way you wanted, but you can be encouraged in that you learned something and were able to encourage others through your frustrations. And I totally get you with the flies. We didn’t have flies but this week we have been dealing with ants. I got an ant trap and it seems to be keeping them under control for now and making sure I do the dishes more often has helped too, but there are days that I just can’t give anymore and dishes have to wait. Such is life. And when the home is messed up like carpet it causes me stress too. We don’t have anything like that too much right now but when we had to deal with mold in our room it was a nightmare that I don’t want to have to do again. The work of that isn’t even over yet. We still have to get a baseboard.

    Praise God for His grace, which is with us wherever we go and through whatever He walks us through. Love you, thanks for sharing your thoughts. 🙂

    Like

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